Do you remember the phrase "get a life"?
In high school, people would use this phrase in response to someone with a lame social calendar. Or it would be a way of getting someone to stop being so boring and do something more interesting. I have heard so many reports of burnout pastors during COVID-19. I believe this simple, three-word phrase could really help those who want to remain emotionally, relationally, and spiritually healthy in ministry.
This blog has been a long time coming. I have hesitated to write for fear that it could come off the wrong way but it is essential information to those who are just starting out and need a little guidance. In speaking to so many pastors, I've realized that somehow, no one trained us how to have a life outside of ministry. By no means do I believe that I have gotten it right all the time, but you don't get to twenty-nine years of ministry without making some adjustments.
In a nutshell, Pastors must have a life outside of ministry to remain refreshed, balanced, and healthy. I do not believe that most people understand it and certainly, most pastors don't understand it. I remember attending a pastors meeting and the moderator asked pastors the question? "What do you do for fun?" The room became deafly silent. After a few moments, the guys began to provide very lame answers that were generated to satisfy the audience. A large portion of the group spit out answers like, "I read" or "I study theology". I sat there and thought.... get a life!!
Here are three things to take into account to "get a life."
1. Quit following everyone else's cool. Ministry people can often get caught up in the "monkey see monkey do life". It's the "cool pastors do cool things so I better be cool by doing the cool things he does" mentality. Have you ever seen a post on social media with a stack of books, with the sub-title reading something like... vacation picks or can't wait to dig into these!! I am not knocking those that read - in fact I do my fair share. The point is to be yourself! Don't look to others to determine what you do in your leisure.
2. Find a hobby that you can totally immerse yourself in. One thing that I have learned through the years is that you have to find times in your weeks that you are totally off. By that, I mean clearing your head and immersing yourself in something other than work and problems. Days off are only as valuable as you make them. If a day off is filled with thinking about church stuff at home then you successfully have ruined your day off. I have found places and spaces where I can go to escape "the bubble". My happy place is racing a dirt modified on Friday nights. For you, it may be running, hiking, biking, fishing, or hunting. The key is finding something you can totally immerse your mind into and empty your mind of all the ministry stuff.
3. Look for something that satisfies a gap that the ministry might not provide. Lots of pastors are competitive by nature. Ministry is no place for competition yet many fall prey to it. I know some pastors who compete as runners, others play basketball, pickleball, and golf. These activities keep competition in the correct silo. Others fish and hunt which satisfies the warrior/provider drive that's within many of us. I now pastors that are super creative. One of my friends is a woodcarver. He satisfies his drive to be creative through designing beautiful wood carvings.
It is super easy to let ministry take over your life. When a person gets to that spot - they are dangerously close to burning out. Unfortunately, I have met way too many pastors who gain their identity through ministry. It is difficult for them not to talk about church growth, ministry initiatives, or present pastoral trends in every conversation. To those people I say, in 2022, it might be time to get a life.
