More Than a Team

Day # 1

Have you ever had the opportunity to start something from the ground up? I mean taking nothing and making it into something. I had the privilege to put together a first year college soccer program with a group of men this last fall. It is one thing to buy equipment, schedule games and fill rosters. Actually, that is the easy part. The challenge is creating an environment where people are knit together as a band of brothers, a family,  people who can be trusted and be trustworthy.

Here are three essentials in becoming a team;

1. Create opportunities to buy in. No one and I mean no one is going to create a team without buy in. Buy in means that an individual is committed to living by the core values established by the team framework. "So how do you create buy in?" you ask. One of the ways that I attempted to do this is by having our players help map out the vision. This requires a lot of time and attention to the details. Giving individuals on the team the opportunity to evaluate, create, and dream, provides a back drop for team vision.

Decision making is important for every team. Who makes the decisions on your team? When decisions are made by the team, it creates accountability. The players have to think in terms of others best interest versus their own. The more decisions you give people to make the better the chance you will have to pull off buy In.

One last thought on buy in. If everyone is not held accountable for their attitudes, actions, decisions, and motives, that the team agrees upon, there is no chance that a team will be able to sustain buy in.

2. Provide platforms to develop safety and trust. A group of individuals will never become a team until they experience safety. Many environments are incredibly unsafe. Manipulation, control and personal agendas rule most locker rooms.

Trust is a hard thing to gain and very easy to lose. You have only a few opportunities to gain trust and hundreds of ways to lose it.  I have found that keeping your word as the leader is essential in creating team. Many promise the world and deliver a village. When this happens, all credibility moving forward is destroyed.

Another way to develop safety is to eat with one another.  Simple, I know, but it is one of the best ways to grow close quickly with your teammates. We eat as often together as possible and it has proven to forge relationships at a high level.

We started our journey in becoming a team outside of the scheduled practices. Everyday after training sessions, the players would go over to our assistant coach Eric Stratmans house to stretch in the pool. The guys played games, ate, talked and chilled together in the intimacy of an indviduals home. This proved to be invaluable for growing trust and safety.

We are Official

3. Shape a unique culture. Everyone talks about DNA today. Most of the time people say, "we have no DNA of our own, we borrow from others to determine who we are and what we are becoming." I believe you must have a unique culture that you are striving to develop. Whether I am working in the context of church work or coaching my college team, I look for those who serve. People who serve first, most, and best, make great teammates and quickly shape culture. I have found that people who are looking to be served or wait for others to serve, rarely make it in the cultures that I am developing.

Encouragement to others can make all the difference. We determined that negative, critical, and unnecessary demeaning comments were all factors that slowed down our progress at becoming a team. The coaching staff did not model negativity and we challenged the players to stay positive in their communication with one another. Creating positive environments is a challenge because most people have never had that modeled for them.

Developing leaders and leadership qualities is emphasized beyond just winning or losing. My desire is to train, mentor, and coach young men into manhood. The longest conversations I have with my players are the ones that are not about soccer. Talking about goals, dreams and ambitions is critical in their development. It is vital to value our people beyond the soccer field,  helping them to reach financial, athletic, and career goals makes our relationships unique.

Together

You may not be a coach of a sports team, but most of us play on a team of some sort. Being on a healthy team makes all the difference in the world!

Your Gonna Miss This !

I am pretty sure you have heard the song by Trace Adkins, Your Gonna Miss This. I have provided the words of the chorus for you to read over once again, but this time ask the question.... what people will come across my path today and what opportunities do I need to make the most of ?

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

I know too many people that emotionally connect with songs but have a difficult time transferring warm and fuzzy feelings into action. It requires intentionality, sacrifice and discipline. I was reminded of this once again when my nineteen year old daughter asked me to take her fishing.

It wasn't so much that she wanted to go fishing but rather when she wanted to go fishing and where she wanted to go fishing. She called me from Ohio, where she had been working for the summer to ask if I would bring my fishing gear so that we could go fishing on Saturday before her cousin's wedding. We were due into Ohio on Thursday evening, go to the wedding on Friday night and head back to Illinois on Saturday morning. Needless to say it was going to be a fly by night trip.

My first thought was to say no. I was thinking about the trouble it would be to bring the gear. Being able to fish for just a couple hours just did not make sense. My second thought proved to be the better one. I thought to myself.... this could be her first fish.... and with me being her guide. It would be a special memory either way. So in a split second, I said of course. This was a moment that I did not miss.... her first fish. 

It was not ten minutes into our fishing trip that Michaela caught her first fish. It was a two pound bass that she caught with a crank bait. As you can see in the pictures... she was super excited and nervous at the same time. Next time you think to say no.... you better have a real good reason or your gonna miss this!

Go with What is Working!

I do not get the opportunity to fish much but when I do I have no problem chasing after what works.
Mike Roux and I had the rare opportunity to get out to a local farm lake on the first weekend of June.
He was in town to guide for a veteran's fishing weekend. His favorite fishing buddies (his grandchildren) were not able to fish so he went with plan D - Bob. I am grateful that I was plan D because it turned out to be the largest catch in number and size of my career.

We arrived at the lake around 5:30 on a beautiful Saturday evening, with the plans to fish til dark. It was the first time we had fished this lake in about two years. It had produced some monster bass in the past but some of the characteristics of the lake had changed over time. We were excited to see how the evening was going to turn out.

Mike began by using a staple for us the Strike King  Shim-e-stick. The color the bass prefer is Sweet Tater Pie. He immediately began to catch two and three pound bass with his prefered lure. I started out with a deep running white shad crankbait. I began catching fish but not bass. I was catching Blue Gill and Crappie.

He consistently caught fish for the first forty five minutes with his Sweet Tater Pie. Mike had caught eighteen bass while I had only caught eight. As we moved into a shaded cove to the southside of the pond, I decided to join Mike with what was working. I left the crank bait and put on my Sweet Tater Pie. The first case proved to be effective as I caught a nice two pound bass.

Over the next hour we caught twenty five nice bass. It was a ton of fun. We set a goal of catching fifty fish total. The picture below is number fifty. We were blessed to have great success and a great time. I have learned that if what I am doing is not working the best, change it up and go with what is working for someone else. This can be applied to so many areas of our lives. Changing up what you know to the unknown can be healthy, productive and effective. Who knows... you may be only one cast away from a big five pounder!!!

Six Lies We Tell Ourselves About Our Church

I recently preached a sermon entitled "Truth Be Told" at Columbus Road Church. I unpacked six lies that people tell themselves about their church. This message addressed common falsehoods that are exposed through behaviors and attitudes. No matter what style, philosophy or tradition you might come from, manufacturing distorted view of church is common. Our hearts are excuse centers that keep us from the truth by manufacturing lies.

Lie # 1 - Church is filled with people who have their lives together

Truth be told, church is a hospital. We are all sick and crazy. Sick in that we try so hard to get it right but fail because it is in our nature to sin. Crazy in that we go to great lengths to mask and cover up our sickness so that others will think we are healthy. The scriptures speak to this topic in great detail. The apostle Paul talks about his own "sick and crazy" in Romans 7:15, 22-23.  James 3:2 and I John 1:8 helps us all see that we are all sin sick. We should stop pretending that we have our lives together and confess our faults one to another.

Lie # 2 Church is a place where I should get my needs met.

Truth be told, church is a place where I meet the needs of others. When we read the description of the first church in Jesusalem in Acts 2:41-47, it is littered with togetherness, selflessness and service. Living in a culture where we are inundated with consumerism, it is almost impossible for that dynamic to not take over the direction of churches. Traditonal, contemporary, missional, or seeker; personal preference has no boundaries. "I want my church to look and do things that I am most comfortable with," says most church attenders. Passages like Galatians 6:1-4 teach us that we are to bear one anothers burdens. Romans 12 tells us to give preference to others and to serve the body.

Lie # 3 Student ministry will raise my child into a Godly adult, all I have to do is drop them off.

Truth be told, church supports intentional and involved parents. Dropping your child or teen off at church and driving home to get a break from it all is a very bad idea. It sends all the wrong messages to your children as well as placing responsibility on those who are not responsible to raise your children. Ephesians 6:1-4 places the responsibility on the father. They are to bring up their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Churches can be a great encouragement and support to families who are creating environments for growth in the Lord.

Lie # 4 Church is an item on a list of things to do and places to go.

Truth be told, church is a vital part of a believer's existence while on the planet. The average church attender in the United States attends church 25 times a year. When you figure the hours committed to church per year, it would equal 50 hours per year, which is a liberal estimate of two hours per visit. Scripture teaches us to be hospitable to one another in I Peter 4:9 and in I Corinthians 16:1-2 a weekly collection is received. Romans 12:10 speaks of devotion and commitment to the local assembly. God intended for the church to be the "third place" in the believers life (first place-family,  second place-work). We (church goers) have replaced church for sports, family time, work, hobbies, and travel, just to name a few "third places".

Lie # 5 I do not need to attend church to be a growing christian.

Truth be told, you cannot obediently follow Jesus without committed relationships with other brothers and sisters. Hebrews 10:23-25 clearly states that we are to encourage each other by committed, regular interaction with one another. Missing church for a vacation or family outing occasionally is appropriate. Habitually, forsaking church is a critical error with many consequences.

Lie # 6 The measure of a good church service is based on how much I enjoyed it.

Truth be told, the measure if a good church service is based on how God is glorified. Philippians 2:3 tells us that we are not to seek the glory but rather to humble ourselves before the Lord and others. Ephesians 5:19-20 places the focus on God in our worship, where He is to receive thanks and that our singing is directed toward Him. We tend to get caught up in the style, genre, and era the song was written and forget who the song is about.

It is important to speak the truth, think the truth and live the truth. We all must be careful not to tell ourselves lies about our own church and sabotage the plan and purpose God has in His church.