Truly Great Friends

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

I read this quote recently and it fit perfectly. I recently lost a "truly great friend". Ron Siepel will be impossible to forget. Of course knowing that Ron will be waiting for me some day in heaven takes some of the sting out of the "difficult to leave" part.

Ron served the Lord with me for the eight years that I have lived in Quincy. In a world where church isn't cool, he made church a cool place to come. Our church is full of life and activity for men and Ron was a huge part of the success of that. He was our parking lot greeter. He was a deacon. He served in our KidZone children's ministyr, KidZone soccer, Wednesday evening prayer service, Columbus Road Outdoor Pro-staff, and Fusion Youth ministry. He did work projects, concrete crews, wild game dinners, men's d-groups, harvest parties, men's archery league, cookie giveaways. (Maybe Ron was trying to take my job!!)

Ron loved archery and his love for archery spilled over. He came up with the great idea of establishing an archery league at our church for our community. Free of charge, hundreds of men and women have shot competitively at Columbus Road. Many people got their start in archery at the league. Just the thought of Darin East's first night at archery makes me laugh. We had arrows stuck all over that gym.

Ron also loved cookouts. Each year he would invite the entire church to his home for two or three cookouts. He like to show hospitality and we loved the food and fellowship. The night usually ended with a not-so-competitive game of volleyball or time around a fire Ron had built. He wanted everyone to feel welcome - young and old - and he made everyone feel welcome. He would give the children four-wheeler rides while the adults were feeding their faces. And he made some amazing jalapeno poppers.

But Ron was more than a list of the things he did for the Lord. He was a friend to all. He took you in like you were one of his own. His garage was your garage. His house was your house. His stuff was your stuff. His car was your car. His lawn was your lawn. His time was your time. His money was your money. He truly showed us all what selfless love is all about. He'd watch your litter of new puppies (he watched the Westcott's ten dogs for ten days this past Christmas), watch your children, store your stuff, and work on your car.

Speaking of working on cars - that is where I really spent some time getting to know Ron. Our mutual interest in speed, noisy racing engines and cars prompted us to start a racing team. Randy Uppinghouse, Tim Pryor, Ron, Shane Wingerter (our cook) and Eric Butler (our lone fan) set out to have a not-so-much-like NASCAR team. It was the hillbilly version, actually. You can go to our racing blog at cowmanracing.blogspot.com to read our story. Ron is such a big part of that story. He was so talented. He could do about anything on a car. He did great body work. He was a welder. He could fix most anything - although with how many projects he had going for others it might take a little while.

Through it all Ron was just so easy to be around. You got what you saw with Ron (unique facial hair and all). He was not proud or stand-offish. He could strike up a conversation about almost anything. Eric Butler came up with the 70/30 rule for Ron. 70% of the time you had no clue where he was coming from and the other 30% of the time what he said was sheer brilliance.

Ron was also a patient husband and father. He loved his children. He spent countless hours talking about them. He was concerned with their spiritual walks, their interest, their children, and their overall well-being. He walked with them where they were in life. He was there to play ball, swing them on the swing, do the paper route, fix their stuff, and walk them through the difficult times.

The thing that stands out about Ron the most is the fact that he lived life for the things that truly matter. He knew that in the end stuff didn't matter - God and people did. And he lived his life every day with that in mind.

When life-altering events happen such as the loss of my dear friend, the tragedy is not in his loss but the tragedy is those who refuse to change in light of that life-altering event. Ron leaves a whole in our hearts and lives. But God is calling each one of us to step up to be:

- A great friend

- Someone who is there for people when they have a need

- Someone who serves God with their life

- A great dad or mom

- Someone who uses their talents for others

- Someone who enjoys the days that God has given them

Change or Die

I was reading a book the other day and I came across a section that amazed me. It was so mind blowing that I fired up the ole Facebook and decided to blog on what I read..."Change or Die."

A recent medical study revealed just how difficult change is for people. Roughly 600,000 people have heart bypasses and must change their lifestyle. The heart bypass is a temporary fix. They must change their diet. They must quit smoking and drinking. They must exercise and reduce stress.

The doctors say over and over in no uncertain terms, change or die.

So one would think that after a near death experience, it would be simple. Choose to change.

That's not the case.

Ninety percent of all heart patients do not change. They remain the same. Study after study indicates that two years after heart surgery, the patients have not changed. Instead of a healthy lifestyle, they choose a slow death.

People speak of how they adapt well to change, but in the real world....Change is very difficult.

What is the best method to initiate change? Should it be all at once or incremental? Many change theorists disagree on how change is most effectively achieved.

I decided to change a major part of my life in September. I decided to be out the door and at work by 7:30 each morning. I always believed that I was not a morning person. I discovered after a 30 day challenge that I am more of a morning person than I had ever known.

Change is most effective when it is incremental, slow and methodical. The goal of change is transformation. Become someone different.

With each change, a culture of change is built allowing for more changes to occur. So how does a person change?

One day at a time.

Tomorrow the change can start!!!

A Paradox

Matt and I decided back in the spring to take another wilderness trip. This meant hiking and camping in the wild somewhere and somehow over the summer break. He decided to travel with a soccer ministry over the summer so our window of opportunity to go on this trip was limited.

We decided that we would go to Mark Twain National Forest in Missouri. Last Thursday morning off we went with all our gear and time for a three day adventure. It took about five hours to get to the park. We jumped out of the car and hiked into the woods.

After a 6 mile hike, we came to the conclusion that the best place to camp was by a stream six miles back. So we went back to the perfect spot to camp. Quickly we set up camp...tent, fire, food, coffee.

It was the perfect night. We talked, laughed and played. It was a blast!!

The next morning we decided to hike out and find a place where we could canoe and camp.
It didn't take us to long to realize that there were no outfitters who provided that option. We found one where we could take a day trip so into the canoe we went. It was so peaceful. We took a trip down the Upper Meremac. We only saw four people the entire time.

THIS IS WHERE THE PARADOX BEGINS...

I asked Matt, 'What sounds good?" He said, "Bluegrass music". I told him that we could go to Branson, which was about 200 miles away. Our adventure had just taken a right turn. We jumped into the car headed to the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield, Missouri. We were dirty and had no clothing for a bluegrass concert.

$90.00 later we walked out of BPS with outfits that would match a bluegrass concertgoer.
We had about two hours to get tickets, a motel, and a shower and get back to the concert hall.

We found a motel with only one room left, showered quickly and were ready with a couple of minutes to spare. We went to see the Cleverlys at the Oak Ridge Boys auditorium. This was a first for both of us. To say it mildly, we had a BLAST!!! The group was very entertaining and Matt got his bluegrass fix.

We were hungry. I told Matt that we could eat where he wanted to go. He picked Landry's. It is a fine dining $20.00 a plate, candlelit, white table cloth, $8.00 desert kind of place. We sat down and he looked at the menu. I wish I had a picture of that. We ate and went back to the motel.

We ended up in the Lake of the Ozarks on the way back -

from hiking and camping to concert...

from dirty, smelly clothes to new BPS duds...

from tent to a motel with two queen size beds...

from oatmeal t0 angel hair pasta with shrimp and scallops...

Now that is an adventure......

Not Happy with Your Church?

I have been a part of church for nearly all my life. I have experienced about everything a person could imagine. I have served in many aspects and postions. I have met some of the most awesome people and many have become life-long friends. There are so many things that I have learned about life and living within the context of an assembly of believers.

I really don't understand why people say they are unhappy with their churches. It is like a brother saying he doesn't like his sister or a mother who doesn't love her children. Human relationships are based on giving and sacrifice. The more a person gives and serves, the more satisfied a person becomes with their contribution to their time on earth.

I was again reminded this week about the importance and value of being a part of a church. I watched our church family care for and love one another like few I've seen. We experienced a massive storm this week, leaving many in difficult positions. Some had trees down, others lost power, while some even had flooding.

People who are followers of Christ were born again to serve. Jesus came to serve and not to be served. Many today are looking to be served, therefore they seem to be dissatisfied, disgruntled, and even lost in the context of needs greater than theirs. It doesn't take long before a person living in community finds others who are hurting more than they are. These are the moments of truth!!

I went to three homes today, helping people get there lives back on track. The fellows I went with were ready and willing to help in any way they could. We had such a precious time serving alongside one another. We focused on the work at hand and got the job done. It is important to remember and never forget the value of the Body of Christ. Our actions toward one another speak louder than any words we could ever share.

If you are not "happy" with your church, you should take a long, hard look into your heart. When was the last time you sacrificed your time, money, or effort for someone you sit by in your place of worship? Seriously, a sacrifice, coming away tired, worn out, broke, and nothing left to give. I am so glad that I am a part of a place that is not perfect but people genuinely want the best for those that they attend church with and they show it.

Friends

"Friends" is an interesting word. There are so many different definitions for "friends".

Some people define who they are by the "friends" they have. Others have no interest in having "friends". They like being alone and without any connections.

"Friends" can be people who you attend an event, church, or club with. The mere proximity of another human makes you "friends". Guys usually have "friends" who they talk to about every six months and that may come in the form of a brief "Whats up man?" Guys express friendship by doing something together or working alongside one another.

Girls are much different. Friends share through communication. Talking is big with girls to be "friends". The talking does not even have to be meaningful and personal....(with the exception of talking about your kids). Although from what I've heard a "close" girl friend is willing to listen to the deep, personal things.

Usually people want a certain kind of "friend". Kinda like shopping for a car. What make, model, appearance, factory warranty, flaws, mileage, and don't forget maintenance are included? "Friends" can be a way to exchange goods and services.

Bottom line...who is going to pick a "friend" where they are on the giving end of the deal.

Who in their right mind would give for someone else's benefit and not their own?

Who would give knowing that they will be betrayed?

Who is seriously going to want a high maintenance friend?

Who is a friend that will give up everything - even his life - for his friend?
Who is that sort of friend?

John 15:15 - I no longer call you servants...instead I have called you friends.
John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.

Birthing

I am no stranger to birthing. I have alot of experience in the maternity ward at the hospital. Four times I have experienced the pain and toil of delivering babies. There are many different roles that people play during the birthing process. I was such an important part of our childrens' birth.

Luckily, the same doctor has delivered three of our babies. He had a great love for soccer. This provided great comfort to me during the deliveries.

Okay, Lisa may have a different viewpoint of the birthing process. It seemed to be much more difficult for her than me. Her job appeared to be more personal and critical to success and completion. My role was one of support and encouragement BUT not so important.

Recently, my birthing role has come back into service. Our church is birthing another church. We at Columbus Road are planting a church in Pittsfield, Illinois. (Go to pittsfieldfirst.com for updates.)

I was fortunate to lead worship and preach at Pittsfield First this last Sunday. It felt like I was out for recess. I was enjoying doing what I love to do but with little responsibility for the group.

It was to exciting to support Pastor Mike, Keri, and the rest of the planting team. I am so excited to see the new baby (church). It will be great to see it grow and develop over the coming months.

It hit me on the way back from the services that there is a big difference between being in the delivery room and delivering the baby. I am back to my encouraging, supportive ways but my part pales to the part of the ones who are doing the real work.

May everyone who is anticipating the new birth be supportive through prayer and encouragement.

The Learning Cycle

So I take my daughter on this awesome wilderness trip to Canada, eh. The design of the journey was to stretch both Madison and I in the area of leadership and learning. What we didn't know was the extent that God would be placing us into His school of protection and provision.

Thursday was a day of talk and travel into Michigan. We stayed in a town called Paw Paw. Friday was a day of reconnnecting with an old friend, Bob Moore. He has been my friend for over twenty five years. I wanted to demonstrate to Madison that "friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them" (thanks Michael W.). The visit was outstanding but we needed to make it into Canada by Friday evening.

We left Detriot and entered Windsor, Canada. This was Madison's first time to Canada. We started up the road for a few hours before stopping at the famous Tim Hortons donut shop. We stopped and pounded down a coffee and maple covered donut. Little did we know what was coming our way in twenty minutes.

As we headed up the 401 (the heaviest traveled freeway in Canada) traffic began to get heavy. The flow was erratic and cars were slowing and speeding up constantly. As we approached the rush hour traffic, the car in front of me stopped rather abruptly. I applied the brakes but to no avail - I hit the guy in front of me. A four car pile up; air bags deployed; and a big cloud of smoke filled the interior of the car.

Madison immediately said, "It is okay dad". Those words will never leave my mind. So comforting, so strong for a fourteen year old. We got out of the car to examine the damage as well as to check on everyone else. No one was hurt but four cars were smashed up. The reality set in.

Police, fire trucks, ambulances and tow trucks convened. It was surreal. There stood my little girl in all the chaos - strong and intent. It took about an hour to clear the scene. As we sat in the cab of the tow truck, I heard a little sniffling. I asked Madison, "Why are you crying?" She said, "Because God protected us, it could have been much worse."

Isn't it amazing how God gives us some of the most unlikely teachers in the strangest circumstances to show us His protection over us?

Algonquin

Well, it is only a couple of days away... Madison and I are headed to Canada for our great adventure. We are going to Algonquin Park in Ontario, Canada for a back-packing, hiking, portaging, and general wilderness adventure.

We have been preparing for this for quite some time and now the time is closing in. I am so excited to spend the time with her. We will be leaving on a Thursday and coming back on the following Saturday. That is a long time to be with one person alone.... especially your dad. You may want to pray for Madison that she has patience and endurance with me. (haha)

I am also excited to learn and grow. It will be such a different experience from what I am used to on a day-to-day basis. No cell phones, computers, televisions, and very few people. It will be Madison, myself, thirteen other people, a journal, and a Bible (and hopefully enough food).

Can you imagine all the voices, noise, clutter, schedules, meetings and responsibilities evaporating right before your eyes? My plan is to fill that void with God's presence, attentiveness to my daughter, and a time of retooling.

I would ask you to pray that I see what I need to see, hear what I need to hear, and do what I need to do. Oh, wait, maybe that should be my prayer request every day......

Music

I really like music. I like to listen to it, I like to sing along with someone else singing, and I like to play my guitar and make music (or attempt to). I have always liked music from as far back as I can remember - Christian, country, rock, classical, and even a little jazz music have all been a part of the music journey.

Most days I find myself listening to very little music because of a busy schedule filled with practices and meetings. Usually when I do listen, it is not just for pleasure or relaxation but rather as a filler. I usually play some music in my office when time and people allow. Once into a busy day however, I just don't get much of a chance.

Last week, I was on the road alot.... I mean truck driver alot - meetings, athletic events and parental resonsibilities kept me in the car for the better part of the week. So as you have already probably guessed.... I listened to a ton of music.

I have my collection of music that is pretty broad and most of it is made up of songs associated with memories of the past - youth, victories, defeats, joys and sorrows. Initially, listening was emotionally neutral. I was going down the road, singing along being pretty much care free. But then something started to change.

Negative, empty, sorrowful and slightly rebellious FEELINGS started to rush in. Thoughts of old friends, three of which died in car accidents...Jason Alexander, Don Abbott and Doug Zickel. Each one of these guys were friends of mine at different phases and times of my life. As these old songs played, back came the memories.... wow, talk about getting hit by a train.....

(As a side note, I have a friend whose mother listened to Patsy Cline alot while he was growing up. You may not remember Patsy Cline or know of her but all of her songs were sad and talked about a broken heart. My friend's mom had huge issues with depression. Patsy probably didn't help.)

After the "feeling train" had flattened me, I started to think about the value of even holding onto those songs. Should I get rid of them? Invite those feelings in again sometimes as an old friend? Ignore the train and stand on the tracks?

This much I know - music is very powerful and can help shape our attitudes (which I seem to have heard something about recently), feelings and inner spirits.

What do you think? What should I do?

Worried

Is it not the most crazy thing to worry? We worry about so many different things at so many levels. We worry about our children, our jobs, our health, the health of others, the economy, the environment, and even the condition of the world.

You know exactly what I am talking about. The thoughts come rolling into our minds immediately after a situation or circumstance occurs that remains unsolved and unsolvable at that moment. As we start mentally examining all of the scenarios, our thoughts start gaining speed and rolling down hill. With each new potential disastrous outcome the speed picks up and more impending doom attaches itself to a big cruddy thought ball.

The more I think about it the worse the adverse possibilities get. Worry then is at full speed with thoughts of my world crashing - totally consuming me. Ever been there? Or would the better question be - been there this week?


Okay, maybe you are now wanting to know what I was worried about.

I received a call last Tuesday evening late. It was 11:45 PM and I was in bed. The phone rings and Matt's name comes up on the screen. I think to myself, "No deal, he is probably just looking for me to answer a question or help fund his happy life." Strangely Matt's roommate Mike (our adopted son) answers. Exact words... " Papa Bob, Matt's not doin' so good ". Fear, worry, concern all came rushing in.





He went on to tell me that Matt was in the hospital because he had become dehydrated during practice. From four thirty until about nine, he was not able to hold anything down. Mike in his youthful wisdom, convinced Matt it was time to head to the E.R. When we talked, Mike assured me that Matt was going to be released and that things were looking up.




Three liters of I.V. later, Matt was good to go and ended up eating out at the Huddle House in Greenville at 3:00 a.m. after the whole ordeal. (I think that is hilarious) For me it was not that simple. As we hung up the phone, all the thoughts came crashing in. Questions about what to do? Who to call? Could I talk with anyone? Then the second tier of thoughts came in....the bad ones.



Is he gonna be okay? Could he have problems tomorrow? Will he manage his body better? Could he die? You know the drill. It started to become so big, heavy and fast moving. In a very quiet moment, I was reminded that God is in complete control and that the best care Matt would ever need, God would supply. I was reminded of the many times where I let my thoughts run wild for no reason. I was reminded how worry, doubt, and fear originate from the evil one and not my Father.


Two verses came to mind as I began to fade into sleep knowing that I would find out in the morning the rest of the story. Philippians 4:8 - which in my words tells us to think about things God want us to think about and not what the enemy has designed. The second one is II Corinthians 10:4-5. This verse tells me to turn over every thought to God by not allowing the bad ones into my mind. Kinda like having a security guard for my mind not allowing the bad stuff in. So yes, I was worried this week.... for just a few minutes. Then God's gentle voice changed my thought process. Will I let crazy worries in again? Probably. But I pray that God's reminder will return to my mind a little quicker each time.

Outstanding Job

I come away from this evening with a heart filled with gratitude. Gratitude toward a group of people who have linked arms to serve the Lord in little ol' Quincy, Illinois. This group of people never cease to amaze me. They have abounding energy and drive to do their best for the Lord.

We took a moment at a quarterly vision meeting to look back for just an hour to see what God has done through us over the past three months. We have seen people come to Christ, follow the Lord in baptism and step out and serve in amazing ways.

We just completed our second S.M.I. (Summer Missionary Internship). Our teens served in our church plant by supplying a full scale vacation Bible school. The teens did all the work from top to bottom. I am so glad that my daughters are able to be a part of our youth ministry. Pastor Jeff and all the sponsors that support and lead do an outstanding job. People like the Browns, Casulas, Baumanns and Andersons make it a very healthy and growing environment. While the Webels and Matt Cowman helped make the mission trip a great growth experience.

Our Childrens' ministry under the direction of Shane and Jen Wingerter has had an incredible summer. The Summer of Discovery is a one of the best home grown ministries that I have ever been associated with. The crew that serve along side them are faithful, talented and engaging. I love to see our children learn - and boy do they learn and enjoy it. I want to say thanks to all of them for all that they do. I am blessed to have had my children go through that ministry.

Our lay leaders do such a good job making the wheels role around here. From ushering to greeting, from finances to facility, from lock up to security, it is nice to have everyone play a part and do it so well with a joyful heart. Thank you deacons for serving in such an outstanding way.

Support staff is so important in a church and we have a great group that do that also. Our sound people, our visual team, janitors, lawn care, and office staff make it easy to keep pressing forward for God's glory.

Pastor Jeff and Julie and Pastor Mike and Keri give so willingly and sacrificially. Your impact on this place is immeasurable. I believe that God placed us here with many gifts and abilities to equip the saints for ministry. Thank you for taking Ephesians 4:11-12 seriously. May God bless your every effort in the coming days.

I guess I just want everyone to know that you do an OUTSTANDING JOB! I am blessed and privileged to be a pastor in this church.